How much our journey cost and ways you can save money on yours.
It has been more than 6 years since we found out we were pregnant with our little babes. Yet, at times I still have a hard time believing she’s here with us, that she’s truly ours.
I also still very vividly remember the journey, both emotionally and financially, that we went through to get to where we are today. Some days I never give it a thought. Others, I cry out of happiness that our little miracle is finally here, that the poking and prodding is done, and that we have beat the odds. I cry because we wanted her so badly that I have an irrational fear of losing her somehow. I cry because I’m human and none of us are immune to the strain that infertility and the IVF journey puts on you.
I’ve already shared our story. However, I have been promising to disclose our exact cost breakdown. So, while riffling through receipt after receipt, I stumbled upon all of our pleas to the insurance companies, the genetic research companies, and those offering glimmers of hope with grants. It wasn’t just our pleas. It was the pleas of our doctor, our nurses, our family and our friends.
You see, most insurance companies do not cover any portion of infertility. While each round of IVF can cost upwards of $15,000, IVF isn’t the only portion of infertility. Before undergoing IVF, most couples typically have to undergo pre-testing or surgery, along with other infertility treatments. Things like hormone treatments, intrauterine insemination (IUI), and stimulated IUI treatments can quickly add up financially. Our journey cost over $120,000 in the end and I was in search of any way to help our family cut our costs.
- Appealing your insurance coverage
- Applying for grants
- Requesting formal discounts from the genetics company
- Requesting formal discounts from the pharmaceutical company
- Requesting formal discounts from your infertility clinic
- Applying to participate in trials
It’s incredible how much you forget. Things you thought would be burned in to you forever just seem to disappear after the dust has settled, after you’ve moved on, and after you’ve conquered what you thought was impossible. I can honestly say I don’t even remember reading some of these letters during our process. If any of you are going through something similar you may be able to relate. Is it the fact that you’re so overwhelmed by the situation itself? Is it that you block out the portion of your life that you no longer wish to remember? Or is it just that you feel so alone in the process that you can’t see when others are reaching out?
Regardless of the reason, these letters sparked an excitement in me. I wanted to share a letter we wrote when we were applying for a grant. These letters can mean the difference between a $15,000 cycle and a FREE cycle. While this letter didn’t grant us a free cycle, it did get us to the final round out of thousands upon thousands of applicants. If you’re going to apply for anything, put your heart in to it!
“First of all thank you. Thank you for giving those of us in need the chance to apply for this grant. My husband, Jimmy, and I understand that many apply for this but we are grateful that you give a few chosen couples the chance to be a family.
Jimmy and I have been together for over 4 years now. We met working in the emergency room. He is a paramedic and I am a pediatric ER nurse. Things moved very quickly for us. Neither of us believed in “fate” or “things meant to be” until we met. We have been married for 2 amazing years and have, admittingly, been trying to conceive for even longer. I had never been diagnosed with fertility issues, but had been battling month long periods, debilitating cramps, and bowel issues since I began menstruating at age 9. Though I regularly went to the gynocologist and insisted my feelings were not normal, I was told “we can change your birth control” and “menstruation hurts everyone”. So, when I met Jimmy and we decided we wanted a family I knew it may not be as easy for us so we began trying on our own early.
Time went on and negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test we continued with our efforts. We’re young, in love, and we were not lacking in the “practicing” portion of babies. WE should have had at least one successful month. However, after meeting with my gynecologist with our concerns, we were directed to Dr. Sweet, a fertility specialist. Initially, I was slightly offended that we were passed along so quickly. Sitting in his office the first day all I could think was “We don’t belong here”.
Dr. Sweet is very thorough and did not hint as towards what may be going on. Throughout all of the tests he performed he never said a word. Of course, as a nurse I had already self diagnosed endometriosis. However, I still did not believe we were in the right doctor’s office. I did not believe, or want to believe, we needed a specialist. I just wanted someone to remove the scar tissue and let my husband and I make our baby. Dr. Sweet had a way of calming my control issues and speaking to me in a way that I understood, anatomically, medically and straight to the point. He told Jimmy and I that based on the ultrasounds, bloodwork, hysteroscopy and multitude of other tests that I had severe endometriosis. There were multiple endometriomas and here are our options: IVF and adoption. We were taken by surprise and, yet again, refused to believe that is where we were at. We just came there to find a surgeon and get us on our way to making a family.
Dr. Sweet suggested that we do a laparoscopy in order to be able to properly stage the severity. So, on May 13th, 2015, my birthday, I underwent a 6 hour surgery. He recorded the entire procedure, and our homework was to review it. Bowel was bound together, adhesions everywhere, dark ominous spots throughout my abdomen. I could now anatomically see what he meant, and reality began to sink in for me. I was at the right doctor’s office. I was the patient that needed the specialist. We needed help.
During our follow-up with Dr. Sweet he, once again, reiterated that IVF was our best option, but gave us a glimmer of hope. Though the left ovary was barely viable, the right had no endometriomas and appeared to be functioning quite well. At our request he allowed us to do IUI with injectables. The plan was to do 2 rounds with superovulation before moving to IVF. That was the plan anyway.
After 3 months of trying the natural way I finally started injections in September. The hormones definitely make you feel horrible, but I tried desperately too never let the negatives show for my hubby. I wanted us both to be as positive as possible through this process, and nothing was going to stop me.
One night I awoke at about 3am. It was a week after our IUI. I had a largely distended abdomen, pain, vomiting and I felt short of breath. This, of course, was a night Jimmy was at the first station and I was home alone. Dr. Sweet’s office was wonderful in returning my 4am phone call and had me in he office in the morning for testing then off to the ER. I had hyperstimulation. The discomfort, shortness of breath and swelling was horrible but we had hoped it indicated my Hcg levels were rising, that we were pregnant. Unfortunately, 2 weeks later we found out the procedure was unsuccessful, but stayed positive that we had another IUI already scheduled.
We were unable to do the cycle in October due to my body not absorbing the follicles so we went for my baseline in November. After yet another round of bloodwork and ultrasounds the nurse practitioner said, “Did Dr. Sweet ever mention IVF?”. He had and we had done everything in our power to avoid it u until this point. They suggested we get on the list for the January IVF cycle and here we are.
Initially we had planned to save for possible IVF later, but we did not want to believe we needed it so soon. We have a small nest egg but fear if anything were to happen to the baby or I during the pregnancy we would have nothing to fall back on after depleting our savings. Jimmy is a fire medic and I am an ER nurse. no amount of overtime will get us to where we need to be in January. We are to the point where we need help. Our families are not in the position to assist us financially any longer, but have been amazing emotional support.
More than my husband, I am asking the foundation for help. I have seen him endure a great deal of things. He was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in 2012. Before that diagnosis he went through a great deal of pain. Though I couldn’t fix this for him, I could be there as his support both emotionally and medically. He is in completely remission and doesn’t know how thankful I am each day. I was able to help him, but Jimmy feels helpless right now.
There is nothing we can do to reverse the scarring and damage from years of endometriosis. We are where we are and IVF is our answer. I know Jimmy does not blame me. I know the thought has never crossed his mind. However, I am beginning to loose my positive outlook. It is very hard when you know you are the sole reason you can not give your husband the child you both want so badly. I’m reaching out to you as a glimpse of hope. Please help us make a family. IVF is our only option and right now you are my Hail Mary.
Thank you again for what you do. Regardless of whether or not we receive the grant, I still very much appreciate what you are doing.”
-Jenny and Jimmy Carroll
No matter where you are in your fertility journey you already know the costs can add up. Hopefully our letter can serve as an example for your future grant applications. More importantly, we hope it will serve as a reminder that you’re not alone. There are so many out there searching for ways to make their dream baby a reality, and we all need a little help sometimes.
You can find a list of grants for you and your family HERE.
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